Men often come to me about having learned some other guy’s “method” and they’ve found that while the method may work for the guru who created it, it doesn’t work for him.
Because your inner game influences your outer game, and your outer game influences your inner game, and they are all mish-mashed together, in reality. I think that’s a better way to describe what is happening, and it’s more constructive than looking at it as inner and outer game. Tactics are what I actually physically and verbally do and say to implement strategies. Generally speaking, tactics can be numerous and as unique as every individual man. When I say “strategy, I’m talking about the bigger-picture view: the psychological processes that go on with men and women, and what gets them together. I think it is more useful to describe strategy versus tactics, in terms of accomplishing a goal. Outer game is more what one does with his body language, and is more tactical. When people talk about inner game, it’s just an artificial term that refers to a guy’s internal state of psychology, emotion, decision-making processes, and thoughts. In truth, it all works in sync with each other. They are just a means to develop types of product lines, so that there can be an “inner game” line of products and an “outer game” line of products. These are artificial terminologies that don’t apply scientifically to what’s really going on. Well first, let’s look at some of the lingo that is used in “the community.” In my opinion, things like inner game and outer game…these are not real.
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And the only “perfect” method a man can use, regardless of his age or what type of woman he wants to be with, really has to be his own method.Īre you speaking about how to help someone with self esteem issues? Or do you specifically help men to become more attractive to women? There are major cultural changes going on in Western society these days that has a lot to do with the pendulum swinging from empowering men for many centuries, to feminism, and now it has gone back to men who are asking, “What about us?” I think the men’s community is a symptom of something much bigger going on in our culture. I think there is a much bigger movement going on, than just learning to date. I’m more of a translator between the men’s community and mainstream society than I am a guru, marketer, or “mack daddy” who has a lot of tactics and tricks to show you. The “men’s community,” as it is called on the dating and seduction-oriented websites, is a tiny subculture when you look at all of mainstream society.
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Paul, I want to begin by asking you how you describe your role in this culture of professional pick-up artists and dating coaches. He was a first-responder to the Columbine Tragedy and has been a contributing expert to CNN, Fox News, NBC, CBS, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men’s Fitness, Blender, Maxim, and many other national media outlets.ĭr. He is an innovator and inventor of unification theories of psychology, as well as a frequent teacher alongside David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Mystery, and most “men’s community gurus,” adding science and professionalism to the men’s community training programs at every opportunity. Paul Dobransky is a Chicago-based psychiatrist, author, and CEO of in the areas of trauma, men’s psychology, dating, relationships, and their missions in life.
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